I think mothers spend too much time tearing each other down and trying to one up one another when we should be building each other up. The mommy wars make me crazy.
Here's a biggie-breastfeeding. I did not breast feed my children. I have my own reasons. Important reasons. Maybe one day I will share them, but I shouldn't have to justify myself. Some women approach how you feed your baby with a religious like fervor. When my children were young I was practiced attachment parenting in every respect except nursing. In some people's opinion I may as well have been feeding my babies drano instead of Enfamil. I support your decision to breastfeed you children. I expect the same respect. I would have dearly loved to have experienced that bond with my children, but it wasn't meant to be.
Childbirth- A healthy baby and mama is the goal of childbirth. That may be a low tech home birth. It may be a c-section with all the bells and whistles and the machine that goes ping. I think birth plans and Bradley classes are great, but you are not a moral failure if you have an epidural. Katherine's birth was induced and I had an epidural and she had shoulder dystocia that called for every intervention short of a c-section. With the twins I went into labor naturally and had a natural vaginal delivery even though James was breech. Each labor ended with a beautiful, healthy babies. Was one experience superior to the other. I don't think so.
Education-Unschooling works for my family. My friend Christy homeschools with a packaged curriculum. My friends Dawn and Michell both have children in public school. All of our children are thriving and happy.
Daycare-I stay home with my children. For many women that is not a viable financial option. Other women have satisfying careers that that have worked very hard for. We are fortunate to live in a society that offers us choices.
These are just a few of the battles fought in the mommy wars. Motherhood is an often under valued, under respected, lonely lifestyle. Instead wasting so much time arguing over whose way is best we should be working together to create a better society for each other and our children.
I hope this post hasn't come off sounding preachy or judgmental. I wrote it mostly for my own benefit. I have some rather extreme parenting views and have often caught myself feeling superior to other mothers because of choices I have made. I think that other than out right child abusers we are all just doing the best we can for our children.
Wendy
