Well-Mannered Frivolity

P

Will and James want to learn how to write, so we are going through the Handwriting Without Tears workbook. Today they learned how to write the letter 'P.'  The sheer mention of P made them laugh hysterically.  Once they composed themselves Will asked when they would learn how to write the letter 'Diarrhea'.

I thought I was going to have to perform CPR on them they laughed so hard.

Boys. You gotta love 'em.

<3,
Wendy

Background noise: My kids preparing to put on a show.

I'm glad I married Bob

and not Jillian.
Bill is a runner. Or, I should say, was a runner. He ran track and cross country during high school and college. Even though those days are but a distant memory, he still had the mad skillz.

I want to be a runner. I have never been a runner.

Power walker-check
weight lifter- check
yoga- 1/2 check
Pilates- check (against my will)
running-no dice

We have started a running plan based on this. To say it's been challenging would be a bit of an understatement. We are 2 days in doing the walk 2 minutes/run 1 minute. Mostly Bill is a Bob. He is helpful and encouraging. BUT if I start to lag a bit he goes all Jillian on my sorry, out of shape butt. He makes me run for 2 minutes, and those are a long 2 minutes!
I find it hard to believe I will be running for 30 minutes in 8 weeks. I think we  may have to slow the program down to something like 16 weeks. But Bob/Bill has faith in me.

My favorite way to work out is lifting weights at the Y. Maybe I should turn all Jillian on Bill's sorry, white but and make him lift weights with me. I may be overweight and out of shape, but I am as strong as an ox.

And soon I'll be as speedy as.....uh.....something really speedy.

I'll keep you updated.

<3
Wendy

525,600(6) minutes ago I gave birth to twins

On Tuesday the 25th of March 2003 I went to the doctor for a routine pregnancy check up. I was 35 weeks pregnant with twins. When Dr S checked me I was 4 cm dilated 80% effaced. She told me she would see me next week. WTF? I figured she would send me straight to the hospital. Secretly I was glad to be sent home because I wanted to vote against a tax hike. So, I went off to the polls, great with child(ren) with 3 young children with me to vote nay. I take my tax hikes seriously. My mom was driving, because driving was on the loooooong list of things I was not allowed to do. I had been having contractions for weeks and was taking a medicine whose name escapes me right now to stave them off. It was something like Breathene?
So I went home and waited. Wednesday rolled around, and I couldn't get comfortable. Comfortable is a relative term when referring to a twin pregnancy, by the way. I spent the day alternately lying down and pacing around the house. I refused to believe I was in labor because my favorite doctor wasn't the doctor on call.  Also, I was planning on going to church that night dog gone it. After much begging and pleading from my mother and my best friend I called the doctor. She was in the process of delivering a baby so she had me meet her at the hospital. I was so convinced that I was going to be sent home that I didn't even bring my hospital bag. My mom drove me, and Bill stayed with the kids while he waited on our neighbor to get home from work to watch them.  I got to the hospital around 6:00. They checked me and told me I was 5cm. I was mentally preparing myself to go back home. The wonderful nurse assured me I would have a baby or two that night. Bill was on his way with my bag.
Twins are supposed to be delivered in the operating room even if there are no complications. Will-Baby 'A' was all set to be delivered, but stubborn old James, Baby 'B', had gone breech a week or two earlier.
I opted to have an epidural despite going natural the last time just in case they had to do an emergency c-section. Dr S broke my water at about 7:00. By 7:30 I was screaming for the epidural, but I wasn't hydrated enough for it. Finally at 8:00 the doctor arrived with my epidural. It took what seemed like forever for him to get it in because I was shaking so badly. My contractions were one on top the other. About 8:10 I started crying and saying "The baby is coming" The nurse kept stroking my head with a cool cloth and telling me "That's right, honey. You are going to have a baby soon." The patronizing idiot. (Actually she was a lovely woman. The best nurse I could have hoped for). At this point I should mention that Bill was in the hallway with my dad. Bill has a serious fear of needles. Having to view one being inserted into my spinal column was more than he could handle. At 8:15 the anesthesiologist told the nurse to let me lay down. My mom was standing at the foot of the bed. She screamed "GOOD LORD, SHE'S RIGHT. I SEE HIS HEAD." Then in one violent, involuntary push out popped Will.  He immediately turned pink and peed all over the nurse. The nurse hollered for the nursery to get in there. Poor souls were setting up in the OR. By the way, that epidural? It didn't work.  I was totally shell shocked that I would have to do that again in a few minutes. I didn't even get a chance to hold Will because I was in a state of total shock.

After Will was born Dr S wheeled an ultrasound machine in to get a look at the position James was in. Still breech. She and the nurse tried to do an external version to get him to turn. No dice. I was wheeled into to OR for a full breech extraction. Mind you, I had no pain relief. In to OR with me were Bill, Dr S, my nurse, two nursery nurses, an ultrasound technician, the anesthesiologist, his nurse and me.  When I got to the OR it was exactly 9:00. I was watching the clock fiercely hoping to speed up time. (That doesn't work, by the way). Dr S put her hand (arm) up me to grab James's feet. Then, with the other hand she slipped in the hook to break his water. Next she manually pulled James out by his feet/lets. Yes, that was a painful as it sounds. Every time her arm would shift it felt like the baby was being born. And her arm shifted a lot. Finally, at 9:09 James was forced into the world against his will.

Recap--Will shot out like a cannonball. James had to be dragged out kicking and screaming.
That pretty much sums up their personalities to this very day.

Twins are usually born within minutes of each other. My guys made their respective appearances 54 minutes apart. Imagine being in labor, having a baby, and then doing the whole thing all over again in less than an hour.

Will weighed in at 5lbs 13 oz
James was a whopping 6lbs 7oz.
They were considerably smaller than their 9lbs sisters.

I was the talk of the maternity hall.  None of the nurses could believe I delivered twins naturally with no tears, stitches or hemorrhoids (tmi, I know). Some of them actually wanted to check me to see it with their very own eyes. Yeah, whatever.

Now I have two sweet, identical (yet oh-so different), cuddly, rough and tumble little 6 year old boys.

I could not be more blessed.

<3,
Wendy

Background noise: Friday Night Smackdown

PS--Extra points if you get the Rent reference.

Happy birthday Will and James

From this:
To this:

Happy birthday, sweet boys!

Tomorrow I'll post their birth story. It's a doozie.

<3
Wendy

I have the potential to become a domestic terrorist

I wonder if that headline will garner any interest from Homeland Security?  I have been harboring a deep, dark secret, you see. Let's keep this on the d-Lo, 'kay?  I'm a Ron Paul supporter. Yes, it's true. I'll be forming my own personal militia any day now.

The Modern Militia Movement

<3 Wendy

Happy St Patrick's day

Your Shamrock Says You Are Alert

You have a logical mind, and you pay a lot of attention to details. You are very organized. Sometimes you find thinking creatively to be a challenge. You prefer to deal with the facts at hand. You don't really consider yourself a lucky person. In your view, people create their own luck. You are traditional, easy going, and appreciative of the simple things in life.

The Shamrock Personality Test

Alvin and the Chipmunks meet The Proclaimers

<3,
Wendy

BTW--Happy Pi Day

The Snuggie Blanket

I almost didn't post this because I try to keep things family friendly. I have a strict(ish) policy of keeping things on the PG-13 level. In real life it takes something like NC-17 to offend me, and even then there is a little lee-way. Not really. I used to teach Sunday School (heavy emphasis on the used to).

I just couldn't resist this Snuggie parody, though. It is too funny. Is the Snuggie not the stupidest invention out there? I mean, really, it's just a backwards bathrobe for the love of Pete.  And furthermore, how do you keep your back warm? To all you Snuggie owners out there please accept my humblest apologies, but I still reserve the right to make fun of you.

<3 Wendy

What I learned this week

One of my children struggles with spelling. I've been researching ways to help her, and one of the tips was to have her practice spelling the word by writing it in cornmeal. We didn't have any cornmeal, but I did have some play sand. I put 2 or 3 cups of sand on an old sheet pan and set to work.  (This works really well, by the way). Before too long the other children started wandering in to check out the sand. Will and James were especially enchanted with it. They wanted to write in the sand too.  I told them they could and went into the next room to start dinner.
Here is what I learned---Two 5 year old boys can cover every imaginable surface of a  2000 sq ft house with a mere 2 cups of sand. And they can pull off this amazing feat in under 5 minutes

sand + house + 2 unsupervised 5 year old boys =a mess I will still be cleaning up 30 years from now. I have given up hope of getting the grit off of our tile floors.

Wendy

See more 'What I learned this week" here

Background noise: The WWE Tables Ladders and Chairs Match DVD (again and again and again)

Wordless Wednesday: Robert Smith gone bad edition